Break

This morning I saw a shrink at the MGEN who listened to some part of my life, namely the rape, I told it and I cried, I'm happy to have got it out of my chest, it was difficult but necessary then I told her about my relations with men and the different sexual agressions I had had.  It helped by the way.

She told me I needed to be helped by a shrink, a psychiatrist I needed to see regularly.  She also told me about the different activities at the MGEN, namely the day hospital.   I'll see her again next week, after my appointment with M Thoraval who'll receive me on Monday and I hope he'll help me get a training to work rather than stay idle and depress.

I thought the shrink at the MGEN listened carefully and patiently, she was very objective and helpful.  I told her about everything, my relationship with dad, mum and my brother, my difficult time in London and Berlin, my work experiences, everything.  It helped so much.

I don't feel too ashamed anymore, it felt good to share my sadness and sorrow with someone empathic like her, it's like she listened not judging but with empathy.*

I had lunch with Florence and dinner with Manue, it was very nice and it helped me a lot to be close to friends, so dear friends.

Florence and Manue were much more positive and had some distance regarding my situation, it helped me a lot as well, they helped me take some distance and see my situation with optimism and lucidity.

I'm very well surrounded by dear friends, who care for me, for my wellbeing as well as my everyday happiness.

I feel peaceful and I feel I let go of things, of the past and of my fears and resistance.   It feels so good and I feel fine to do that, to let go, to free myself.  It feels good.  I had held on for so long so that it's good to let go and free oneself.

I feel lighter and freer, more at peace with myself and less judging but just being.  And it feels good and liberating.

I feel more at ease and more in harmony and being ankered more and more.

I feel finer and finer.