This morning I saw the doctor cos' last night, I woke up with a huge earache. I have an earinfection, no wonder I had put a stick in my ears to clean them, but instead I damaged them. So I've got some medicine to heal the infection for a week, and I'll return to see the doctor for a checkup.
I also phoned for an appointment with a psychiatrist. A long procedure, well, I sent an email to a doctor at Cochin's hospital after a recommendation by the caretaker from the hospital who couldn't give me an appointment with a shrink recommended by Dr. Marchal, who gave me the hospital number to try to get an appointment in the public sector. An appointment with the said shrink in the private sector would cost me 140 euros! No kidding it costs money to be mentally ill or rather to be mentally helped!
Finished my resume for Monday's appointment, I'm happy cos' I did my best.
I feel good cos' I was present today and took care of myself.
I saw Manue tonight, had a drink with her and she helped me, advised me for Monday's appointment. She helped me be structured and focused, and clear. She gave me interesting and objective feedback as far as I'm concerned. We are both hypersensitive and it helps to share and to have feedback and above all some distance and objectivity concerning our emotions and hypersensitivity to what people say to us or how we interpret or receive what's being said, for instance, we can get hurt easily by the inhumanity or rather the hypocrisy of the professional world, how people can act and can be so hypocritical, fake and hurt others verbally sometimes or with mean attitudes.
I feel happy and I'm starting to feel more present and more focused again on the present, what I'm doing, what I need to do, be and live, forgive and let go of things.
I'm also happy to meditate again, I did a break during the holidays but I missed meditating a lot. I realise how important it is to my everyday life.