Thoughts and acceptation

The sky is dark

It's night time

I'm listening to the piano

Thinking about making rhymes

English is a language ready made for that

Yet, it's not that easy to find

Especially when I'm describing my current thoughts after a hard working day :-)

So many things can happen in a day, in an hour, in a minute

When one is aware

Accompanied by so many emotions and feelings: tiredness, then happiness, joy, excitement, embarassment, irritation, impatience, joy cut by hurtful remarks or everything is a matter of perception, feeling, reception and then taking some distance, allowing oneself to exist, to take your space and authorise the other to feel uncomfortable with you, adapt yourself yet be faithful to yourself without letting someone else crush you.

Today, I heard a colleague at lunch time say about me to my "boss" or so I felt: je ne me sens pas à l'aise avec elle" en parlant de moi or so I think.  I realise how awkward it was if she did for I was just sitting by her.   My "boss" answered so do I.  Yet, her saying it hurt me more than if I had heard him say it, for she said it which means she thought it. Anyway, I suddenly fell silent, hurt I was suddenly, as if I had received a blow in my chest, feeling rejected, one deep wound.  Anyway, if she did speak about me, she has the right to feel uncomfortable with me, and I don't have to disappear or do anything special, I accept myself as I am.  Maybe there are some ways about me she doesn't like and it's her right if that is so.  Maybe there is something in me which reminds her of something she used to see, maybe she feels jealous about something I have or I do.  Anyway, I like myself as I am.  Yet, I want to take some distance with her and when I'm around her, maybe be more careful, less natural, for I'm at work and my spontaneity can disturb, maybe that's something different.  Anyway, she has the right to exist, that I know and I have the right to exist as well.  She is who she is and I am who I am, and that is so in our world.