How healing words can be, but most of all, be connected to oneself and the others, it all makes sense.
Some anxiety about going back to work tomorrow but it all goes away and makes sense when I manage to express it, and not to analyse it but just express it, observe it and let it go. So reassuring not to analyse everything but just live, feel and be. Let the emotions be, go and pass.
Today, at the Reurea workshop we saw M. Thoraval, so knowledgeable on all the possibilities to work as someone else than a teacher. He's very resourceful and gives us a lot of practical tips, it's unbelievable how understanding he can be and also reassuring, he really is good for his job. That's for real, I've learnt that he has worked as a teacher and occupied many other position before his current one. He really listens to everyone individually and knows how to find the right words to reassure us, like a teacher and he knows how to take some distance from the situations or the remarks we are made.
It's also very funny to realise how women can take remarks so personally, it doesn't seem to be that way with most men. Writing that, I've just realised my father has a feminine way of reacting to remarks, so has my mother and on top of that they want to control everything and retain everything and most of all not let people speak about their emotional side as if it were forbidden, whereas I love expressing my emotions, live and just be.
Take some distance, especially when someone has said something, authorize oneself to be hurt but then let go as part of a normal thing that can happen and most of all forgive oneself and forgive the others. It's so rewarding and healing. Whenever I express my emotions, especially with peers , I feel so much better and so relieved. When I can't do that, I express it aloud and reassure myself or try to; expressing it to oneself and reassure oneself is also very rewarding. It's so fascinating how one has just to speak and be listened to, not necessarily reassured but sometimes just be listened to then it goes away.
Went to the Conservatoire in the arrondissement to ask for the choir which was supposed to take place tonight at 7.15 pm. I almost didn't go for I was scared rather very anxious to engage myself and not to give up for I needed to wait and the waiting just got me more and more anxious. I went, I'm so proud although I'm a bit disappointed for as a matter of fact, the choir didn't take place tonight. The clerk at the desk doesn't know why, he was very kind and gave me the Conservatoire telephone number as well as his mail for me to ask for news tomorrow. He will enquire on his side. But I'm very happy for what I retain from that experience is that I did it, I went, I acted, I lived and didn't wait. I found the inner resources within myself to go and live, feel and be fully. Stop wishing, start doing, Oprah Winfrey said something like that.
Phoned mum tonight to speak and express my emotions.
Sent several sms in response to friends without reporting my doings.
Thanks, life is beautiful, observing is so rewarding. The world as well as people are so beautiful and endless.
One never finishes to learn.