Let it be

Tout passe, I've been experiencing this sentence for the last few days, especially experiencing it with the pain and negative emotions.  It's like learning a lesson or rather practising what I've learnt theoretically, testing it in real and it helps me move on, continue, live, face my disturbing thoughts and  their ensuing negative emotions, and let them pass.

I've been avoiding some situations, especially going out to a party for there would have been too many people and the anticipation of it caused me a lot of anxiety even panick.  I did my best.  But followed the guilt, it's like a pattern, victimisation, as if I couldn't fully take responsibility for my decisions, blaming it on someone else like imagining some people anyway would annoy me or would hurt me rather than accepting it can happen so what, that is life.  Basically I'm preventing myself from living, I don't give myself permission to be part of a group most of the time.  One to one, it's okay but as soon as it comes to a group, I find it hard to allow myself to participate in a group although I love it when I do, I really feel, live and am. 

So that is the direction to follow, with and in the world.