Tired but fine

I lost my mobile today, or somebody stole it from me.

I rode a lot, more than 10 km.

I saw Flobio and I also saw the doctor for a hypnosis session which she'd recorded on my mobile and I lost so many data.  I'm tired and upset with myself cos' I didn't pay enough attention to my stuff.  Sometimes I feel I'm losing so many things, I don't pay enough attention and my brain is not functioning properly, a reminder of my condition, my depression and the fact that I thought I was doing better but that a single event can make everything crumble and it gets on my nerves.

It is sometimes difficult to take some distance and listen to people having troubles or experiencing difficulties, well that's life but I wish people would be more positive sometimes and stop complaining, starting from myself.  I find it hard to hear complaints, to hear negative feelings or things.  Well, anyway I could write down positive facts that I hear from people.

Oh yes, today just before losing my mobile, I received a message from Amandine and Florent with a picture of Robin, their newly-born son.  He's asleep, lying in his cot and looking so peaceful.  I'm so happy for them and looking forward to seeing them again and seeing him for the first time.

This morning breakfasted with Manue who left for the south to visit her parents.

This morning I woke and first thing I saw a huge black spider on the wall, it was so fascinating, that's the first thing my eyes were attracted to as if the spider was looking at me.  Luckily she was still and didn't come crawling on my face in the night.  Imagine, I just can't imagine the terror I'd have felt.

I realise it's just material I lost when I think about my mobile.

The hypnosis was very interesting cos' it was sometimes difficult for I felt my face warm so I thought I must look red, or ruddy as the literature has it and I felt like touching my face but the doctor said just to feel all the things around me, noise, disagreeable things or rather things in my body, I also felt my belly "gargouiller", it was funny to pay attention to everything and let things be, let them go without doing anything and I was still there, much alive and well, not rejected, not hated which is great and so simple.  How everything is so simple, I sometimes think when one lets things be, one let them have the right to be, to exist and they just go, they disappear as they came in their own time.   No control over anything but just let go and be, observe them, recognize them and get on with the life.