29 mars 2018

L'amour - Love

L'amour - Love  
Posté par anker à 22:08 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

25 mars 2018

Time change

La nuit dernière, changement d'heure.  New time, summer time and the light that goes with it. When I start thinking of going back to work and which work, I wonder what I'm going to do.  Doubts and anxiety seize me, and I'd rather not think too much about it. During day time, I feel good, confident but when evening comes, anxiety and doubts come with it. I don't want to hide, never again but then huge tiredness seizes me, fear of being abandoned and left aside.  Well, it will pass, and go away like everything by the... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 22:06 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
22 mars 2018

I need a pause and I need some professional advice

Je me sens bien et je vois clair, tomorrow I've got an appointment with the médecin conseil. I'm scared, that he may tell me off so to say, because I can't work anymore right now, I'm frightened by it, and can't concentrate anymore to work.  It demands too much strength and too much energy and I feel sick just before going to work, standing in front of the students, preparing my lessons, working and standing in front of them is difficult and causes so much anxiety.  I hope he'll understand and most of all, help me because I... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 22:35 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
20 mars 2018

To you Long

It just makes me shed so many tears. This beautiful song to you. If You Go Away If you go awayOn this summer day Then you might as well Take the sun away All the birds that flew In the summer sky When our love was new And our hearts were high And the day was young And the night was long And the moon stood still For the night bird's song If you go awayIf you go away If you go awayIf you go away But if you stay I'll make you a day Like no day has... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 22:27 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
20 mars 2018

Traiter ses informations et recycler/ laisser passer son ressenti et schéma de croyances

Ah la la, laisser passer des schémas de croyances, aujourd'hui, une caissière qui m'impressionne un peu car très volubile et plutôt populaire, avec du bagou me parle mal, avant d'arriver à la caisse, ai déjà la croyance qu'elle ne m'apprécie pas et qu'elle va m'engueuler, par ailleurs, au moment où je passe à la caisse, j'ai mal au bide, suis très fatiguée, ai envie de vomir, mini crise d'angoisse, elle répond de manière très désagréable et irrespectueuse aux 2 questions/ phrases que je lui fais, j'ai l'impression que je l'agace au... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 22:21 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
19 mars 2018

La vie

I feel good, in peace, in harmony and understanding with me, selfconscious and also knowing about myself, who I am, how I work out.  Clarity, space, light, horizon, calm and everything possible, just going forward. Today, partage au centre de Méditation, bénévolat, cela m'a fait du bien, rencontre, partage, écoute.
Posté par anker à 20:14 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

13 mars 2018

Nostalgia

Nostalgia, I don't know why I went on my ex boyfriend's facebook account, I guess, just to remind me of how beautiful he was, how hooked I was to him, how I clang to him  like a mussel on a rock, so did I with many people anyhow.   I feel good yet, even though it's difficult to see him, I know it's over, I wish someone like him could love me forever, to grieve over an ideal partner and an ideal man, ideal parents, an ideal world, an ideal everything...  Nevermind that he saw me go on his account anyway, what will it... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 22:04 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
11 mars 2018

I'm doing a break from work, the doctor thought best to put me on sick leave, for I just couldn't anymore, too much work, too difficult and sort of burn out, breakdown, just too much.   It feels so good to be able to breathe and to stop, I just felt I was overwhelmed and just couldn't see straight with all I had to do.  I guess, I need something less intellectual to do, to be able to take care of my life nearby.  I just couldn't think anymore and handling the absence, and the lack of love, of presence, I needed to... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 21:40 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
11 mars 2018

Loving and believing

I feel good now and at peace although a bit worried about what I'm going to do with my life.  It's like I'm at a crossroad, overwhelmed by my work, not wanting to teach anymore but just needing peace, something easy to do, part time even, even if I don't earn much money as long as I can get by and just rest, and take care of myself. Also the place I want to be, I don't know either, I want to be close to my parents but not too much either cos' I need to get by by myself, I trust myself, yet I feel lost right now, I have lost all... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 21:33 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
07 mars 2018

Vivre

Je suis bien aujourd'hui, j'ai la chance d'avoir pu enfin m'arrêter pour observer, et voir sans juger.  Le manque de Long ou plutôt de son souvenir est présent et je m'accroche à ce souvenir qui m'a apporté de belles choses en omettant les difficultés cependant mais difficle de voir les deux, sans choisir, sans juger mais en acceptant.  Tout n'est pas positif ni négatif, la beauté vient de l'imperfection et du naturel soit ce qui n'est pas par/fait. Observer, prendre du recul. Le lien quelle chance, le lien, garder le... [Lire la suite]
Posté par anker à 18:26 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]